Jesus loves you

This morning Evie was playing with our Fisher Price Nativity sets as I folded some laundry.

"Mom, did you know Jesus love everyone. Even people who speak different languages!"

Me: "......"

Evie: "You know who does't love everyone?? Santa."

My advice to those who speak a foreign language:

Just pretend you don't through December.

Jesus has your back the rest of the year.

Judgy McJudgerson

I have realized in my old, ripe age of 32 that I am a judger. Not a normal one, mind you. I don't care what you wear, what you drive, who your friends are, etc. Nope, not one bit. However, at the moment, I am a hardcore judger of 2nd grade girls. True story. Gracie will come home from school and I'll sit rapt with attention as she fills me in on her day. 

"Susan(name changed because no one uses the name Susan anymore) didn't want to be my friend the first day of school. She was so mean. Now she's nice and we are best friends! I sit by her on the bus, can we have a playdate?"

Woah girl, back up. Back that truck right up. Suzy dingdong was mean to you? She was MEAN to you?  What are her parents names? Does she HAVE parents? Was she raised in the woods? (No one is mean to Gracie. Seriously, no one. Gracie is kind of terrible at home but, everyone loves that kid. She is a classic suck up!) Now she's nice so you're her friend? Ummm, sorry chick, that is not happening. We do not teach forgiveness and love in this house. You shut that down right now. And punch Susan in the face while you're at it. 

But what I actually say is "Oh Gracie, that's great! I love how kind you are."

Susan better watch her 7 year old back. 

The classic case of head/heart syndrome

Yesterday Evie was helping Charlie spray the entire upstairs bathroom down with spray bottles. I happen to walk in as they were dousing the mirror. Now, I get that some "fun" moms would laugh, grab a spray bottle, and join the fun! Right?!?! RIGHT?!?! Apparently I am the opposite of fun mom. I am crazy mom. Ultimate crazy mom.

Me: "Evie!! What in the world are you doing?!?! YOU KNOW BETTER!"
Evie: "MOM! My head said no but my heart said GO! And, Charlie made me."
Me: "You're two year old brother MADE you spray the bathroom down? You're six Evie, you know better!"
Evie: "Give me a break mom, I've only been six for a minute!"

Now, while that actually may be true since her birthday was just last week. I hold my five years olds just as accountable as my six year olds. I may mention that while this is going on Charlie is spraying my body with water as I try to wrestle the bottle from him. #damnyoucharliejoe