Jesus loves you

This morning Evie was playing with our Fisher Price Nativity sets as I folded some laundry.

"Mom, did you know Jesus love everyone. Even people who speak different languages!"

Me: "......"

Evie: "You know who does't love everyone?? Santa."

My advice to those who speak a foreign language:

Just pretend you don't through December.

Jesus has your back the rest of the year.

Judgy McJudgerson

I have realized in my old, ripe age of 32 that I am a judger. Not a normal one, mind you. I don't care what you wear, what you drive, who your friends are, etc. Nope, not one bit. However, at the moment, I am a hardcore judger of 2nd grade girls. True story. Gracie will come home from school and I'll sit rapt with attention as she fills me in on her day. 

"Susan(name changed because no one uses the name Susan anymore) didn't want to be my friend the first day of school. She was so mean. Now she's nice and we are best friends! I sit by her on the bus, can we have a playdate?"

Woah girl, back up. Back that truck right up. Suzy dingdong was mean to you? She was MEAN to you?  What are her parents names? Does she HAVE parents? Was she raised in the woods? (No one is mean to Gracie. Seriously, no one. Gracie is kind of terrible at home but, everyone loves that kid. She is a classic suck up!) Now she's nice so you're her friend? Ummm, sorry chick, that is not happening. We do not teach forgiveness and love in this house. You shut that down right now. And punch Susan in the face while you're at it. 

But what I actually say is "Oh Gracie, that's great! I love how kind you are."

Susan better watch her 7 year old back. 

The classic case of head/heart syndrome

Yesterday Evie was helping Charlie spray the entire upstairs bathroom down with spray bottles. I happen to walk in as they were dousing the mirror. Now, I get that some "fun" moms would laugh, grab a spray bottle, and join the fun! Right?!?! RIGHT?!?! Apparently I am the opposite of fun mom. I am crazy mom. Ultimate crazy mom.

Me: "Evie!! What in the world are you doing?!?! YOU KNOW BETTER!"
Evie: "MOM! My head said no but my heart said GO! And, Charlie made me."
Me: "You're two year old brother MADE you spray the bathroom down? You're six Evie, you know better!"
Evie: "Give me a break mom, I've only been six for a minute!"

Now, while that actually may be true since her birthday was just last week. I hold my five years olds just as accountable as my six year olds. I may mention that while this is going on Charlie is spraying my body with water as I try to wrestle the bottle from him. #damnyoucharliejoe

Screen free is the way to be! (just kidding)

So, life at the Gibbs house is as interesting as ever. We are on day 3 of screen free week or, as I like to call it, day 3 of the hostage situation. Man. MAN! I sure love Netflix and all it's babysitting abilities.

Let's be real for a minute. Mom guilt sucks. It sucks SO much. Since the twins were born we have been immersed in the TV. It's turned on when we wake up and I swear it doesn't shut off until bed time. I decided that we needed a week screen free to ease my guilt. Some time where they can detox and think about life. Just kidding, he's only 2.5 and believes life is strictly for destroying as much as he can in as little bit of time that he can. There is very little in this life that can control Charlie like a good binge watch of Curious George. I actually can't watch Curious George. He throws my anxiety into a tailspin. Seriously, Man in the Yellow Hat, stop saying "Be a good little monkey." You KNOW that's not gonna happen. Remember when George accidentally bought 100000 doughnuts. I can't even with that...That show is just an accident waiting to happen.

I went upstairs to put the twins down for a nap and asked Evie to "watch" Charlie. Whenever I do this I just have to come to terms with the fact that my house is about to be destroyed for the 5th time today. As I was up there I actually didn't hear anything terrible so I thought, naively, that we were in the clear. When I made it back downstairs The destruction was evident: A container of yogurt all over the floor with salt and pepper dumped on top of it. And then I found the culprit standing on the counter eating marshmallows out of a bag.

Screen free is not the way to be.

Sandwich theif

In the mornings my wonderful husband gets up first thing with the babies and I get to sleep in until 7:15. It's glorious. This particular morning Beau came storming in panicking. In my disoriented haze I could tell he was freaking the freak out.
                                     
                                        "I need your help. I need you to take a baby."

I could hear one baby screaming downstairs as he shoved the other baby at me. I was like, let a sister get up but he was SERIOUSLY panicking. I started to get a little bit worried as he was flustered as I'd ever seen him.

"What is going on?!?" I asked him

"I need to you take a baby. Hattie is crying and Gracie's sandwich disappeared."

......say what??

"Her what?"

"Her sandwich for her lunch. Charlie took it and I can't find it!"

At this point I was kind of dying inside but I jumped out of bed and took Frankie so we could find the missing sandwich. As I followed behind him I see Charlie with his little finger sticking out taunting his dad saying:

"Dad sammmiiicchhhh"

Kids are the worst.

By the way, we found the sandwich under the twins play mat on the floor. 

#damnyoucharliejoe

The current happenings

It's been a long time since I've posted! Since my last post we had twins, moved again, and have discovered that Charlie is no longer a cute little mommas boy who loves to snuggle but actually a miniature terror who likes to make mom cry. No big deal.

Life with 5 kids under 7 is always an adventure. Stay tuned for regular posts about our days!

Attack of the Jedi baby