You know, about a healthy 67% of what I do for my children stems purely from mom guilt. Don't lie, you know you suffer from mom guilt too. No semi- self respecting adult actually WANTS to listen to "The Bear Went Over the Mountain" on repeat every time you get in the car. I waited my entire adolescent life to become an adult just so I could buy a bag of chips and Starbursts at the store, put them in my very own cupboard, and eat them all without sharing. Yeah right, here children, do you want all my snacks? Oh you need that doll? Would you like a Disney Vacation to go with it?
When we had our first I was goo-goo eyed over her and the "system" of being a mother. I swore to myself that we would always read to her before bed and then sing her songs. All the books talk about early literacy and how it will make my kid the ruler of the universe if we spend every night reading to her. And so we did.
Because, back then, I was mother of the year right? One kid is basically nothing. We had that figured out real quick. Just kidding.
Fast forward 6 years and two more kids later.
Evie: "mom I can't sleep without hearing Baby Mine!" (4 year old. Super scary)
ME: "Go to bed Evie."
Evie: "I will never close my eyes again unless I hear Baby Mine!"
ME: "I hope your retinas don't dry up."
Evie- now sobbing: "I don't have tetinas!! BABY MINE!!"
Gracie: "Mom, Evie won't stop screaming and she punched me when I told her to be quiet."
Evie-"BABY MINE!!!"
Did I give in? You bet I did. I was not in the mood to get punched.
My mom guilt right now, and the reason for this post, is the dreaded holiday of Halloween. I actually love Halloween. It's by far my favorite holiday. Before we had kids we used to watch a scary movie every night. We would go to fun halloween parties and enjoy the fall weather. It was awesome. Then we had kids and the awesomeness changed a bit. This year, my kids don't seem to grasp the concept that we just moved 3000 miles across the country and maybe, just maybe, they can handle the perfectly acceptable pre-made costumes that every other kid in the world. Well except for the kids that have a mom just like me (guilt ridden).
I blame my husband. He is a Halloween crazy man.
So this year in July Gracie let us know what she was going to be.
"Mom, I am going to be a peacock for Halloween!"
Oh goodie, that doesn't sound difficult at all.
"Oh, but not an ugly peacock I need to be a boy peacock because they have pretty feathers. Here mom, get on your computer and I will show you."
After pouring over pinterest for an hour she apparently decided that I was in the know enough to be qualified to make her costume.
Evie was another story.
"Mom, I want to be a scary witch that eats people for Halloween."
"..........."
We had just gotten back from Disneyland in September and she had received a Minnie witch hat so I was sure that is where this was coming from. Well, at least I hoped we weren't dealing with some underlying psychological issue.
"Evie I don't think that Witches eat people sweetie. Do you want to be a Minnie witch? We can make a purple dress and everything?!?!" And by make a dress I really mean buy one from Target.
"No mom, you're wrong."
Then she stuck her witchy claws in my face and cackled.
Sometimes at night I lay awake worried she is going to murder me in my sleep.
So we picked out a perfectly terrifying, people eating witch costume and were set to buy it from Costco. I felt like this was a mom win. I really would only have to make one costume this year and my only other worry was trying to keep Evie from biting people. No biggie. We got this Halloween.
One day later.
"Mom, I want to be a flamingo for Halloween."
"Evie I already picked out your witch costume."
"Sorry mom, you're wrong."
Well, I guess that ends that conversation.
So guess what? Making bird costumes is actually the worst. First of all, I am not a seamstress. But I have to try right? Because if I don't society tells me that my kids will have terrible memories of me buying their costumes from the STORE *gasp*! It's tragic really. When my kids grow up and people ask about their childhood they are going to just have to tell people they were orphans or something. Save themselves from the emberassment. Second of all, I really have no idea how to make crap up when it comes to crafts. I just can't do that. But, I read a mom blog, this mom really loves her kids and talked about how grateful she was to be able to make costumes for them. Her heart was full when she saw how much her kids appreciated her work.
I think I actually rolled my eyes SO far into my skull that I had a headache for like, an hour.
Here I am, slaving away, cutting hundreds of feathers out of felt and dreaming of the days that my daughter just wanted to be a witch and eat people for Halloween.
Freaking mom guilt.
My mom guilt right now, and the reason for this post, is the dreaded holiday of Halloween. I actually love Halloween. It's by far my favorite holiday. Before we had kids we used to watch a scary movie every night. We would go to fun halloween parties and enjoy the fall weather. It was awesome. Then we had kids and the awesomeness changed a bit. This year, my kids don't seem to grasp the concept that we just moved 3000 miles across the country and maybe, just maybe, they can handle the perfectly acceptable pre-made costumes that every other kid in the world. Well except for the kids that have a mom just like me (guilt ridden).
I blame my husband. He is a Halloween crazy man.
So this year in July Gracie let us know what she was going to be.
"Mom, I am going to be a peacock for Halloween!"
Oh goodie, that doesn't sound difficult at all.
"Oh, but not an ugly peacock I need to be a boy peacock because they have pretty feathers. Here mom, get on your computer and I will show you."
After pouring over pinterest for an hour she apparently decided that I was in the know enough to be qualified to make her costume.
Evie was another story.
"Mom, I want to be a scary witch that eats people for Halloween."
"..........."
We had just gotten back from Disneyland in September and she had received a Minnie witch hat so I was sure that is where this was coming from. Well, at least I hoped we weren't dealing with some underlying psychological issue.
"Evie I don't think that Witches eat people sweetie. Do you want to be a Minnie witch? We can make a purple dress and everything?!?!" And by make a dress I really mean buy one from Target.
"No mom, you're wrong."
Then she stuck her witchy claws in my face and cackled.
Sometimes at night I lay awake worried she is going to murder me in my sleep.
So we picked out a perfectly terrifying, people eating witch costume and were set to buy it from Costco. I felt like this was a mom win. I really would only have to make one costume this year and my only other worry was trying to keep Evie from biting people. No biggie. We got this Halloween.
One day later.
"Mom, I want to be a flamingo for Halloween."
"Evie I already picked out your witch costume."
"Sorry mom, you're wrong."
Well, I guess that ends that conversation.
So guess what? Making bird costumes is actually the worst. First of all, I am not a seamstress. But I have to try right? Because if I don't society tells me that my kids will have terrible memories of me buying their costumes from the STORE *gasp*! It's tragic really. When my kids grow up and people ask about their childhood they are going to just have to tell people they were orphans or something. Save themselves from the emberassment. Second of all, I really have no idea how to make crap up when it comes to crafts. I just can't do that. But, I read a mom blog, this mom really loves her kids and talked about how grateful she was to be able to make costumes for them. Her heart was full when she saw how much her kids appreciated her work.
I think I actually rolled my eyes SO far into my skull that I had a headache for like, an hour.
Here I am, slaving away, cutting hundreds of feathers out of felt and dreaming of the days that my daughter just wanted to be a witch and eat people for Halloween.
Freaking mom guilt.
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